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Ch-ch-ch-Changes.

27/10/2016
I have this tendency when I write to lean towards the intimate and the personal. I'm a brutally open person in general so it's natural that this would translate to my writing. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'll talk to anyone about anything, from my Brexit opinion to the weird black hair I found on my nipple last week. I'm a chronic oversharer (or 'gobshite' as my dad terms it) and I think that's pretty clear with my online presence. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some super confident, tell it how it is, sass queen. Often I hesitate in my honesty and it can take me days of consideration before I even have the nerve to post certain things. My anxiety story took me weeks to conjure up the courage to post and there are many things I wouldn't dream of writing about...Yet. Wink, wink. A cheeky cliffhanger to keep you following me. Ultimately, though, I'm quite comfortable sharing personal aspects of myself and my life on the internet. In fact, I quite enjoy doing so.

My last written work on mental health and relationships was really well received. Within hours of sharing it, I'd received tweets, comments, and personal messages praising the piece or sharing their own stories. It was rewarding and comforting to know people could relate my writing. It made the whole ordeal of writing it worth it because it helped someone to know that they weren't alone. The response was worth the agony of publishing something that had pained me for years. I'm so, so proud of that, that my writing has the ability to help people, but it also stupefies me. I worry that the positive response to these deeply personal essays only means readers will expect more and more of the same. It's an expectation that I don't quite think I can live up to. I would love to pour myself 100% into everything all of the time but I can't. It is so mentally and physically draining. Honestly, after the relationship post, I was completely knackered. I haven't sat down to write since. I couldn't. My creativity needed replenishing. 

That's not to say I haven't wanted to write, I have. However, I just worry what I want to write will be a disappointment. People have come to expect these relatable and truthful outpourings in my posts, but sometimes I really just want to write about my trip to B&Q or a new lipstick I bought. But I'll shy away from that because I'm scared it'll drive away readers as it's not a serious topic or, a glimpse into my personal life (cos lets me honest, most of those hits I received where mainly from people wanting a glimpse into my sex life.) It doesn't fit this 'persona' that I've created for myself here on this blog.

But the thing is, I'm not a persona. I'm a person. A person with all their varying interests, and changing opinions, and different moods and voices. I want to diversify my content, so I'm going to diversify my content. I've spent months trying to find a way to integrate these personal pieces alongside the more 'lifestyle blogger' content but I haven't found a strategy that seems perfect enough. So I've been putting it off. No more though. I've come to realise that if I wait for something to be perfect before I get started, I would never get started. So I'm just going for it and I'll see what works and what doesn't as I go along.

Basically, to sum up this unnecessarily long post, there's going to be a lot more lifestyle, maybe some beauty, and some more general moans on becloumar from now on. Don't worry, the personal pieces will still be there. How could they not? I bloody love the sound of my own voice! But now there's four sorta-but-not-at-all defined categories to mix up the content a bit. I hope you like it.

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